Redneck Page

Use the contact form to send your redneck page submittal. Life is short and includes laughing at ourselves.

Must be 18 and over to submit. Keep it fairly clean and fun for everyone.

Submitted By Bizman12

A gas station in Mississippi was trying to increase it's sales so the owner put up a sign saying "Free Sex with Fill-up." Soon a local "redneck" pulled in, filled his tank, and then asked for his free sex. The owner told him to pick a number from (1) to (10), if he guessed correctly, he would get his Free sex.

The buyer then guessed (8), the proprietor said, "You were close. The number was (7). Sorry, no sex this time."

A week later, the same redneck, along with his buddy, Bubba, pulled in for a fill-up, again he asked for his free sex. The proprietor again gave him the same story, and asked him to guess the correct number.

The redneck guessed (2) this time, again the proprietor said, "Sorry, it was (3). You were close, but no free sex this time."

As they were driving away, the redneck said to his buddy, "I think that game is rigged and he doesn't really give away free sex."

Bubba replied, "No it ain't Billy Ray, it's not rigged -- my wife won twice last week."

The bartender was washing his glasses, when an elderly Irishman came in and hoisted his bad leg over the barstool with great difficulty, pulled himself up painfully, and asked for a sip of Irish whiskey.

The Irishman looked down the bar and said, "Is that Jesus down there?"

The bartender nodded and the Irishman told him to give Jesus an Irish whiskey too. The next patron was an ailing Italian with a hunched back and slowness of movement. He shuffled up to the barstool and asked for a glass of Chianti. He also looked down the bar and asked if that was Jesus sitting down there. The bartender nodded and the Italian said to give him a glass of Chianti too.

The third patron, a redneck, swaggered in dragging his knuckles on the floor and hollered, "Barkeep, set me up a cold one. Hey, is that God's Boy down there?"

The barkeep nodded, and the redneck told him to give Jesus a cold one too.

As Jesus got up to leave, he walked over to the Irishman, touched him and said, "For your kindness, you are healed!"

The Irishman felt the strength come back to his leg, and he got up and danced a jig to the door.

Jesus touched the Italian and said, "For your kindness you are healed!"

The Italian felt his back straighten, and he raised his hands above his head and did a flip out the door.

As Jesus walked toward the redneck, the redneck jumped back and exclaimed, "Don't touch me, I'm drawin' disability!"

Submitted By Texas Hottie, Aryn